


the comfort of words

by pouncival



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: M/M, Polyamory, Trans Character, theres a mention of blush but really not enough to tag it sorry guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 06:51:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10270772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pouncival/pseuds/pouncival
Summary: David Jacobs knew a lot of things. Well, he did now.





	

David Jacobs knew he was a boy.

Well, he did now. He could never explain it. It was never that he liked sports over makeup, because neither of those interested him much. It was never that he liked to be with boys better, because his best friend growing up was his older sister, Sarah, and he tried to mimic her at every chance he got when he was small (except for dresses, which he would always cry if forced to wear.)

It was just that she felt wrong and grating. The way that people treated girls felt wrong - and not just the misogyny, which was terrible. The way that girls considered him one of them when he wasn’t, the way straight boys would look at him, and so much more. The fact that he was treated like a girl at all just felt wrong.

But when he was 12, and he told Sarah in a fluster about these feelings, and she pulled out a book that mentioned ‘transgender’, everything clicked. That was the way he’d been feeling, without a word for years, and having a word for it felt right. Safe. He knew what he was, and who he was. 

Sarah went through names with him, and he decided to choose his name from significant Jewish figures that he’d learnt about at Synagogue, and that’s how they decided on his name: David. 

David Jacobs.

He liked that name. It suited him, a lot more than his old one. And when he heard Sarah talk about him, and say “he”, “David”, he felt all kinds of emotions. When his four-year-old brother Les called him his big brother, he teared up. 

He got a binder, men’s clothes, and cut his hair short. He met new people, and he said, “Hello, my name is David.” 

He felt like himself.

***

 

David Jacobs knew he liked boys.

Well, he did now. Before he became a newsie, it was easy to deny. At school, he had his friends, sure, but they were distracted by learning, homework, and… well, girls. Davey couldn’t say that he’d never felt a bit left out when the other boys talked about girls, but he soothed himself: you just haven’t met a nice girl yet. Maybe it’ll happen after school (because he sure as hell didn’t want to get distracted from schoolwork with emotions, for a girl). 

But then his dad lost his job, and he was out working with newsies. These boys were different. They roughhoused, they yelled, they flirted and made jokes about it. There was no avoiding touching them or talking to them on the job. And the feelings of a boys hands, from punching him jokingly on the shoulder to being wrapped around his shoulders celebrating one thing or another, and the want for those hands to be holding his waist or his cheek as they leant in and-

Ahem.

Davey had figured out he liked boys, and thanks to a certain boy at that. Jack Kelly. The leader of the Manhattan newsies himself.

He’d taken Davey and Les under his wing, which Davey was originally skeptical about, but he taught them to properly sell papes. Which was a lot harder, he’d realised, than was expected. Hell, he was even the one who’d decided David was too fancy, and he needed a proper newsie name: “Davey.” Becoming a newsie, he’d felt a mix of new feelings. Lying to sell papers felt bad, but so did turning up at home with a pile of them unsold, money coming out of his pocket. He was missing school and learning, but there was this new thrill in selling papers and knowing his peers and seeing how much fun Les was having. He didn’t want to be, but he was crushing hard on Jack. 

Davey knew what being gay was. No need to ask Sarah this one. He knew what happened to gay guys- and that it wasn’t pretty. But it felt a lot easier to accept this on top of being trans. Especially when he heard talk of ‘Blink and Mush being all sappy again’, or newsies discussing who had a crush on who. Most of that gossiping was about various newsies having crushes on Jack.

Davey couldn’t blame them, it was hard not to have a crush on Jack. He was passionate and spoke (or rather, yelled) about what he believed in. He painted quietly for hours on end, making landscapes feel real. He sold papers by lying and stretching the truth and sold more of them than any other newsboy in Manhattan - a title he was known for bragging about. He gave Davey nudges, grabbed him, held his arm, and made Davey feel all kinds of gay shit.

And Jack was dating Crutchie.

Davey liked Crutchie. He was nice, and they spoke a fair amount. Crutchie was always smiling about something or other, and always brightening everyone’s days. He made an effort to act like he didn’t need help, but accepted the small gestures that Davey offered with gratitude. He liked Crutchie a lot, now that he thought about it. But sometimes, when he saw them holding hands. Davey wished that one of their hands could be his. He was becoming unsure of which one.

 

***

 

Davey knew he liked boys, plural.

Well, he did now. He had been conflicted. He felt jealous of Crutchie, for dating Jack. He liked Crutchie a confusing amount for someone who liked Jack. He felt jealous of Jack, for dating Crutchie. He felt confused about figuring out he liked two people, and he felt guilty for liking two people who were dating each other. 

So Davey had turned to Sarah, like he did with all her problems. She knew he was gay by now (and she had confided in him about her sexuality, too.) But this time, she wasn’t sure either what was going on exactly when Davey explained that he had tried to, but he didn’t want to choose. 

Eventually, after going through a ridiculous amount of research (now that they had phones, googling without fear of history being scrutinized by their parents was a lot easier.) Within a matter of minutes, she was reading out articles on polyamory to Davey, and Davey was sighing on his bed, because yes Sarah, I want that, but no that doesn’t mean Jack and Crutchie want it, or even know what it is, or wouldn’t think I was trying to intrude on what they have. 

But he still felt safer knowing that he wasn’t alone.

And, a month after that, when Jack kissed him, he knew Sarah was right (as she always was). Jack had held the kiss, then leaned back, and stared. Davey had told him everything, about how he’d felt this whole time, about not knowing what to do about Crutchie, about realising he wasn’t exactly jealous of only Crutchie. Jack just smiled. 

Crutchie laughed when he told him, and called him silly. Apparently, Crutchie liked him too, and not only that, he’d thought Davey had known. 

And now, Davey lay out on the roof with Jack mumbling something about Santa Fe (that damned place) while he was half-asleep, and Crutchie snoring lightly with his head nuzzled into his shoulders. He was holding both their hands. He looked up at the moon, and he smiled to himself.

David Jacobs knew that if everything stayed like this, he was going to be happy for a long time yet.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed!!!
> 
> thank you to my bf for editing for me!!!!youre the best


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